We exploded everything 1 year ago

Three reflections after major life change

The sunset at Tamme last night over the Baltic Sea

A year ago we officially pushed “start” on our move to Estonia when we made a trip at Christmas to see some properties. My first trip here!

We thought the whole real estate process and finding new roots here would take longer and we would need to rent for a bit and then – poof – we saw our dream spot here at Tamme on the Baltic Sea. We closed on the property and moved in six months later, last June.

Yes, we wanted to shake things up in our lives and stir the pot. Moving to Estonia and everything that entailed, from letting go of nearly three (great!) decades in Wisconsin (literally . . . getting rid of all the accumulated stuff) to learning a new language, governmental systems, grocery stores and oh so much more, added up to a year so abundant in memories and personal growth beyond expectations.

And here’s the bottom line for me on ALL that went on these last twelve months:

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Life called and we listened and jumped.

Were there things we’d do differently? Sure. We literally blew up a printer and a hair clipper. Just small sparks, no active flames. It’s a new world with EU voltage. Learning: don’t bring anything with a US plug when moving abroad.

But, honestly, what’s a few minor literal explosions amidst a year of overflowing change?

Were there mornings I woke up and asked myself WTF did we do? Of course. But those emotions were short and fleeting as the drive for change and “Plan E” as we call it outweighed overwhelm in the moment. Slow and steady, we keep telling ourselves. Daily.

As I process 2024, here are three initial key personal learnings a year into exploding everything. I share this with the hopes that if the fresh page life chapter of a new year leaves you with a yearning for something new, this is helpful.

1. Release Control

Winterscape at Tamme looking west at the sea.

Yes, one needs a plan when jumping into major life change. John and I had (and still most definitely have) perpetual lengthy written lists of things to research and understand and make decisions on.

Basic everyday decisions that we never gave a passing thought to in the States now add up to steep new learning curves, from how to get a driver’s license, navigating visas and residency permits and health care systems to embracing metric and a 24 hour clock. And learning what it means to live on the sea coast, different growing climates and challenges.

And despite all my list-making vigor, I quickly learned not everything goes to Lisa’s plan.

One example: we put our Wisconsin farm, Inn Serendipity, on the market last spring but it did not sell. I can’t make something like that happen if it’s not mean to be, between the economy and current market for a place like we have. Plan B is now to rent it, which puts us on another, not expected learning curve of being landlords and working that into the project mix while abroad.

This is all a very healthy master’s class for yours truly in letting go. To embrace the things we can change, such as dedicating time every day to slow and steady language learning sessions. That I can do. And, likewise, to let go of those things I can’t control, like construction projects behind schedules (maybe a garage by spring?) much less the global state of the world and the reality that Russia is geographically like Minnesota when we lived in Wisconsin.

2. Make Space for Newness

A beautiful (but poisonous!) mushroom found on my woods walks this summer.

I discovered a positive bonus corollary after I started releasing control:

Things serendipitously happened once I loosened my grip attempting to drive the outcome.

Sure, I had (have!) that list of necessary to-do’s, but I quickly realized I must leave space – time, mostly – for the magic in the unexpected.

For example, forest foraging, my new love. When we first saw our property here, I had absolutely no idea how much I would be drawn to the woods and how crazy abundant the forest right across the road from Tamme would be. Blueberries, lingonberries, mushrooms. So much I haven’t even identified yet.

Mushrooms in particular are taking time to learn, both to importantly identify the edibles from the posinous along with harvest and cooking techniques. We got here at the tail end of wild strawberries and many other edibles I have yet to discover next spring.

Who knew? But that’s my point.

When you embark on big life change like moving abroad, these new, serendipitous discoveries sprinkle the journey with magic. I’m learning to be open, less controlling and leading with my heart and not always the to-do list.

3. Don’t Wait

I’m a big fan girl of instigating life change while in your late 50’s. John and I are 58 and 57 now. It’s understandably a different exact age number for everyone, but it’s right when you hit that sweet spot when, if you have kids, they probably fledged as well as eldercare responsibilities ended.

That’s where I was two years ago when 2023 rolled in. My mom had just passed and I closed the door on the eldercare chapter of my life. Liam had already decided to move to Tallinn. We knew the political situation in the US was headed in a dark direction and wanted to be out of the country before the election. We pushed go on Plan E.

My point is, that age to instigate a new life change is probably earlier than you think.

Think about doing it while you have your health and energy to get navigate all that will (for sure!) come … while still having time to walk in the woods, or wherever your path may take you. Plan E is something John and I both have the health and mental capacity and energy for today, who knows what the future will bring.

My forest walk on New Years’ Day (before the snow rolled in) gifted me with these foraged “ingredients” for this mandala. So much beautiful green still in the woods, from moss to ferns to mountain ash berries and horsetail.

You’ll find mandalas in various spiritual traditions with different flavors and meanings, but for today let’s look at it as it represents one's own spiritual journey from the outside of oneself inward. I look forward to sharing more chapters from ours as we roll into 2025 — and wish you much love and light on yours.

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