My Three Life Buckets

Sorting what I can and (damn!) can't control

While I like to think I’m relatively adaptable and can go with the flow when needed, if there’s an opportunity for me to make a list and check it twice and have things go according to plan, that is Lisa’s happy space.

For those who have been to events I’ve planned over the years, from potlucks to workshops, you probably know of what I speak. And might honestly have appreciated it. From pre-printed nametags to never running out of food, that’s my jam.

But pluck ourselves from a comfortable situation on the farm in Wisconsin for a new chapter in a new country and voila:  I’m knee-deep in a daily personal master’s class of letting go and embracing the simple fact that, um, no . . . I’m not in control of much.

So much of what we are doing right now getting settled in Estonia – from processing John’s visa to steps to set up our solar system to finding contractors to navigating in a language I am far from conversational in – add up to daily reminders to let go. Things will happen on the universe’s own sweet timeline. Enjoy the sunset tonight.

Navigating this whole letting go personal process is easier to write about than do, especially given our current political and environmental situation. Again, as someone whose happy space is putting a bow on it and controlling and crafting a happy ending, the fact that so many world issues are simultaneously spiraling can quickly add up to my rabbit hole of worry and angst.

So, I’ve taken on a new approach recently, of looking at life as three “bucket,” keeping my focus on what I can control (spoiler alert:  Not bucket #1).

1. Big world picture stuff I can’t control

A planet screaming loudly for help with no concrete change in site. Rainstorms last week in nearby Latvia causing unprecedented flooding. The U.S. presidential election and all of the unknowns before November. Toxic politics and lack of leadership on all sides. Escalating global tensions. We all know this is just a quick top-line starter list.

It’s so easy for me to go down rabbit holes on the big picture problem stuff, spending time in worry and research and reading.

But I’m realizing personally I need to proactively manage how much time I spend here, as there will forever bee too much information to process and a fine line between a general understanding of current events while keeping one’s mind in a relatively healthy place.

I’m experimenting right now with a summer vacation detox on mainstream news. I’m realizing anything super big picture change news will find me, like Biden dropping out of the election. But the day-to-day analysis feed that my inner political junkie used to thrive on, is right now toxic for me. Especially with the conventions hyped up on both sides, it is adding up to a lot of noise for my soul that keeps regurgitating a situation I cannot at all control.

Occasionally I’ll pop in on the daily news summary from the BBC or World News Reuters. I find that hits on all the key highlights succinctly and objectively from a global perspective.

2. Proactive things I can control

Abundance of Estonian summer wildflowers everywhere

This is the healthy space I need to stay in: focusing on what is directly in front of me that I can both impact and, importantly, that will have a positive impact on me and those around me.  Sprinkling in beauty, like summer wildflowers daily on the table.

Much of this space centers on self-reliance and resilience, creating a new chapter life here in Estonia where we can again grow our own food, generate our own power and reduce our own impact on the planet. A different, but still very much modeling, what we created at Inn Serendipity in Wisconsin.

When John got here a little over a month ago in late June, a few weeks after me, he immediately planted a garden. While yes, that is late accordingly to our typical Midwest planting calendar, but here in northern Europe thanks to the earth’s axis tilt, we get an incredible amount of day-light during summer. Things grew so crazy quick that he’s harvesting salad greens and zucchini after a few short weeks.

First Estonian-grown zucchini

The other related area of life right now that I can indeed directly influence include creative outlets like this Substack. I so appreciate you being along for the ride here as I’m finding the Substack world a robust platform of potential and one that needs creative space and energy to find one’s voice and place (i.e., more experimentation to come – please let me know what you like!)

Another key area I can directly influence is my personal health, especially the daily routines that may not seem like much in the movement for consistently add up. In the last year I’ve become a big fangirl of James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, and this concept that small, slow and steady consistency add up to lasting change. Turning 58 this year and seeing my senior life chapter on the horizon amplifies my motivation to amp up these habits of long-term health.

Right now, the key things I’ve been doing are short daily online yoga, a resistance band 15 minute routine that includes some balance exercises, tracking my food and macros using the free version of Chronometer to get a better healthy fat, carbs and protein combo. Small things individually, but collectively, slowly, hopefully adding up.

3. Savoring life’s simple joys

This is honestly the most important and easiest to overlook bucket of life right now: appreciating and savoring the (many! multiple!) joys of the every day. Today, amidst the bountiful, beauty of summer, this is obvious, yet something I need to be conscious of as the minutes and days and weeks quickly roll by and we still have that long list of logistics to do related to the move.

“Mindfulness” can be a trendy term in the pop culture space nowadays, but the concept is so vividly real for me right now for me it’s all about slowing down and being conscious in the moment. And those fleeting moments have been in such abundance these last six weeks, simple yet precious, that I need to write them down in my journal every night to capture the memory.

Three quick highlights include:

1. Savoring daily meals

The summer harvest is in abundance right now and John and I are having fun cooking in the new kitchen at Tamme and dining al fresco on the deck. With classic Estonian-grown ingredients like potatoes to wild-foraged nettles, sharing these meals has been our daily moment of summer zen amidst the still long list of moving logistics.

Our first home-cooked breakfast at Tamme: local eggs, cheese, potatoes & nettle

2. Multiple beaches so close by

I don’t even have a final count yet of the number of beautiful beaches bordering the Baltic Sea and the Gulf of Riga that are a short bike ride from Tamme. Abundance! All different, all free for public access and all typically just a scattering of other people there or even just us.

This is the kind of life joy that also still needs to be planned and prioritized to happen. The weeds will still be there along with more emails to send nudging contractors. But summer will be gone in a heartbeat and, now that “going to the beach” doesn’t need to be a big planned excursion, we’ve been prioritizing popping over for a swim and sunbath whenever there’s a sunny afternoon.

Lemme Beach on the Baltic Sea in Häädemeeste — a short bike ride from our place!

3. Serendipitous art & culture

A big part of connecting locally in a new community I’ve learned is embracing opportunity whenever she pops your way. A chance conversation with someone English-speaking on the beach or at an event is often tremendous learning for us but often cannot be planned.

But a key part there is to simply show up. I may not be able to translate or understand all the words and schedule on a flyer I saw posted online for a “community night” south of us in Rõuge, but we went and showed up and were gifted with an entourage of local folk dancing groups amidst the perfect July Saturday evening. Magic.

Another big simple life joy for me right now is blueberries. Everywhere! I just need to cross the road and go into the forest and they are everywhere, and as you all know, berry foraging always puts me in a mentally happy mindful state.

These beautiful blueberries and all the tasty joy and meals they have brought deserve their own post. More soon!

Estonian blueberry abundance — recipes to come!

Check out more photos (and ordering options) from John D. Ivanko on Alamy